Filed under: BenefitsPro, Broker Innovation Lab, Combs & Company, Combs & Company Blog, Mental Health, Motivational, Successful Women, What's the Good News, Ladies? | Tags: Combs & Company, Innovative Broker Lab, Insurance 101, Susan L Combs
I’ve talked to countless colleagues from around the country who are at their wit’s end with abusive clients, ill-mannered employees of clients, overworked staff, and personal exhaustion.
By Susan L Combs | February 01, 2024 at 07:51 AM
Click here for original article on BenefitsPro!
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately about the most recent 4th Quarter. I’ve talked to countless colleagues from around the country who are at their wit’s end with, let’s call it for what it is: abusive clients, ill-mannered employees of clients, overworked staff, and personal exhaustion. In our office, we did a postmortem earlier this month and vowed that “we aren’t doing things that way EVER again.” But the thing is, we didn’t change anything from years prior – the change came from the people and personalities of those we encountered. This is making us take a step back and figure out which systems, policies and procedures we can put in place so we don’t have a repeat in 2024.
But one word keeps coming up: boundaries.
Now, I know many of us pride ourselves on our lightning-fast response time, but the expectations of instant gratification in all aspects of our life seems to be reaching a whole new level. I can’t tell you how many times our office gets an email after 8pm from someone, only to have them “follow up” again by 7 the next morning. If the tables were turned, do you think they would want one of their clients treating them this way?
I began taking only scheduled phone calls about 10 years ago, which was really hard to do in the beginning. But man, this was one of the best decisions I ever made for myself in business. I found that if I was working on a project for a client, and then I answered the phone, it would shift my attention from what I was doing. I would then have to take the time to help or delegate and then shift my brain back to the project I was working on. It was incredibly inefficient.
I have other colleagues who only check their emails twice a day and block out their calendars so their office knows exactly when that will take place — and clients also come to know that routine eventually. I’ve never been one to do that, but I block my calendar like nobody’s business, and stick to it about 90% of the time. My office knows which blocks can be shifted if a call or meeting needs to be scheduled, but they also know not to delete any blocks.
I also think it’s interesting that different parts of the country have different expectations. We are in NYC, where everything was needed yesterday. And for the most part, we seem to always have this magic wand to make that happen. But heading into 2024, we are going to start being harder on deadlines and what is expected from our clients, because our office is the one who suffers with the extra hours and extra stress while our clients carry on during the holidays footloose and fancy free.
I saw a sign this morning that said, “Sure, let me drop everything to fix the problem you caused.” And it honestly made me laugh out loud, because if you are in this industry, you know how true that can be. You can educate, you can explain, but people want what they want when they want it, and they want you to make it happen at all costs. I still laugh when I remember a client firing me and threatening to sue me because I wouldn’t put his unborn child on the health insurance before the birth. Yeah, he really didn’t have boundaries….
So, what are your plans for 2024? Are you making some shifts in your office? Are you adding new staffing roles? Working with new vendors? I’d love to hear what’s going to set you up for a successful 2024!
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Filed under: Affordable Care Act, BenefitsPro, Broker Innovation Lab, Combs & Company, Combs & Company Blog, Health Insurance, Insurance Women, Mental Health, Pancakes for Roger, Susan L Combs, Women in Insurance, Women's Health | Tags: Addiction, Breaking Point, Broker Innovation Lab, Combs & Company, Family, Mental Health, Susan L Combs
By Susan L Combs | October 04, 2023 at 07:19 AM
Original Article on BenefitsPro
I’ve struggled with even starting this article, but this topic has been weighing on my mind for well over a year. In our industry, we talk so much about mental health and wellness, which is great. And as those of us in the industry know, under the Affordable Care Act (ACA), we now have Mental Health Parity. And in some places like New York, even before the ACA we had things like Timothy’s Law that gave New Yorkers access to unlimited mental health sessions in network years prior. This is all incredible.
But you know what we haven’t talked about?
The family of the mentally ill or person struggling with addiction. The people who are showing up as caregivers time and time again only to have their hearts broken for the umpteenth time.
I know I live a pretty open life and many of you reading this probably know that I have been sober for over two decades. I’ve chosen a path for myself that has led me to have an incredible life, and I am grateful that I learned at an early age what a degree from the School of Hard Knocks had to offer by making some pretty big mistakes for myself prior to the age of 23. But I know I put my family through a lot and I own it. I have gone on to make my amends and mend the fences that were damaged but not broken. I have worked hard to try and make the right choice each day for myself and others. Of course, this doesn’t mean I’m perfect or that I don’t blunder and step in it from time to time.
I’m not a big one for having regrets, because I truly feel that you are denying yourself your place in the world right now when you say you have them. I choose to not regret the things I have done because I know that they shaped me as the person I am today and as a result, I have been able to help others. But I broke my parents’ hearts. I made the General cry…
Until recently, I don’t think I realized what it was like being in my parents’ shoes. Dealing with someone who is being irrational when you are trying to be logical can be the definition of frustrating. But about a year and a half ago, I got a major life lesson that I didn’t want and certainly didn’t need. This all comes back to a promise I made to my dad before he passed. My dad and I were “Team Type A” in our family, and I knew that when he was dying, he needed to take comfort in knowing that everything would be OK within our family unit. I promised my dad that “I got this” and that I’d look after my mom and my brothers. The year before my dad passed, “Team Type A” got together and we spreadsheeted, we had all the information organized, I knew who to call if a pipe burst in our little apartment building, I knew who to call to sell the Winnebago, I knew who to talk to about VA benefits that passed to my mom, I had all the passwords, we had everything mapped out. But we didn’t talk about my oldest brother, who has dealt with severe mental illness for well over three decades. We just missed it.
Eighteen months ago, I had my ass handed to me. I had never dealt with a mentally ill person who had gone off their meds. It’s uncomfortable; it’s hard. Everything logical doesn’t work. It reminded me about being around someone who is highly intoxicated, which as a sober person, feels unsafe. It was triggering. He ended up getting arrested and then things really got tough. I’m in NYC, he’s in Kansas; there is so much I can do from here….but I promised my dad. This was a dance I had to make up as I went along. A legal eviction led us to have to purchase a home for him to live in, because no rentals would take him with a felony record, a legal eviction, and other charges. I lost a lot of sleep, but ultimately, I felt that I “fixed” the problem, because I am nothing if not tenacious and can basically figure out any problem you give me. But you can’t fix mental illness. You can’t throw money at it and hope it goes away. You can’t pray it away. You can’t act like it doesn’t exist. Because guess what? When you think things are fine, when you start sleeping soundly and things feel back to normal, it breaks again. And it did. It broke again a few months ago, which led to an involuntary commitment into a state hospital. I don’t think it’s necessary to give you a play by play of what happened, but when death threats are happening and you are being told by your brother that he, “Just got off the phone with Dad” (our father passed away in 2018) it’s rough. It makes you want to run away from the situation and never look back.
But I promised.But what did I promise? Did I promise I would put my own health on the line at the sacrifice of someone else? No. Did I promise I would be a horrible boss and a shit wife because I didn’t have the capacity to show up in the world for the people who depend on me? No. Did I promise to put so much stress on myself that I would have chronic diarrhea for 6 weeks straight because I carry my stress in my stomach? No. Would my father want me to work so hard at fixing an unfixable problem for someone who doesn’t put the work in for themselves? Absolutely not. But I did and I have.
When is it time to walk away?
When is it time to put your own mental health and wellbeing first?
I honestly can’t answer those questions for you, because I’m still figuring that out for myself. But I can tell you what I have done. I have shared about it in my 12-step program, I have shared about it with my therapist, and I’ve shared about it with my tight crew. But you know where I’ve gotten the most support? Just like there is a “Dead Dad’s Club” that you never know about until you are indoctrinated into it, there is the “Mental Illness Family Club” and those are the people who have really helped during this time. Those who have it in their families know how hard it can be. How thankless it can be. How “I’ll never get an apology” it can be. How unaccountable it can be. How abusive it can be. To my Superman fans, it’s what I picture Bizarro World to be. And it sucks.
This article isn’t meant to be a “poor me” piece; like I said before, I have a big beautiful life and I was given so many tools and lessons in my life that have prepared me for this … kinda. This article is meant to see the unseen. For those of you who are in this boat, please know that you aren’t alone. I encourage you to share your stories and find support where you can get it. It’s up to you what that looks like.
Don’t ever apologize for putting your wellbeing first when someone is making you the price of admission.
Be brave.
Filed under: BenefitsPro, Combs & Company, Combs & Company Blog, Innovative Broker Lab, Insurance Women, Mental Health, Pancakes for Roger | Tags: Combs & Company, Feature Friday, Innovative Broker Lab, Susan L Combs
We work in a people-facing business and don’t have the luxury of burying our heads in the sand. But this doesn’t mean that there aren’t times when we’d love to do just that.
By Susan L Combs | August 03, 2023 at 07:29 AM
Original Article on BenefitsPro
I can’t tell you how many people I have encountered over the past few months who have talked about how burnt out they are. Let’s face it, we work in a people-facing business and don’t have the luxury of burying our heads in the sand. But this doesn’t mean that there aren’t times when we’d love to do just that. I know there are days when my business partner Colleen Blum and I look at each other and say “When are we buying that ice cream truck?” We laugh and get back to the grind, but that 30 second check-in with someone else who “gets it” is sometimes all you need.
But what if you don’t have someone to do that with? Or at least you don’t think you do.
“How do you motivate yourself when you just aren’t feeling it?” was a question asked by one of our readers.
I started thinking a lot about what I do to stay motivated and when I asked myself this question, the first thing that came to mind is: I reach out.
To be honest, this is not something that I’ve always done; during my first 5-10 years in business, I carried the load along. I internalized and just kept grinding. But after 18 years as a business owner, I’ve learned better.
You aren’t a snowflake; feeling unmotivated is a common challenge that many people face. However, with the right strategies, you can regain your motivation. Here are some things I do to keep marching when I’m running on empty:
1. Move a muscle, change a thought: I know this might sound a little dumb, but when you get stuck, sometimes you just need to move. If you follow me on social media, you know I’m into CrossFit and start most days by working out. This lays the groundwork for me to take on the day, but if I feel unmotivated during other times, I walk around the block, walk down the hall or go check mail. Sometimes, just a little movement is all you need to shift things and get back at it.
2. Gratitude and goals: I have a girlfriend who owns her own law firm and Monday through Friday, we send each other a list of things that we are grateful for, followed by a list of what we want to accomplish for the day. We have been doing this for over two years and it’s a great way to start the workday in a good frame of mind—with gratitude and a list of goals for the day. I take the “goals” list and drop them into my “to do” list in Outlook and then check them off as I accomplish them. Nothing motivates me more than checking things off a list! (#loser)
3. The power of anticipation: It’s so important to look forward to something, whether this be a gift to yourself, a vacation, a conference, a random day off or a freakin’ popsicle. Have something in the distance that you know is coming when you get to that date on the calendar, land that client or hit a revenue goal.
4. Do something that has nothing to do with your business: This is something I learned from my dad. He was a Major General in the Air Force and a civilian judge, so he was on the road a lot. But one of the first things he would do within 24 hours of getting home was to go out to our farm and be a farm boy. I have a very analytical brain; I like math and I love me some spreadsheets. But during open enrollment, when the work increases and I need to give my brain a break or use it in a different way, I always have a creative project to work on when I get home so I can put my phone away and just focus. One year, it was making, bottling and labeling vanilla extract; another time, it was making Christmas ornaments. Currently, it’s knitting temperature blankets for my nieces. We all deserve to shut down, and this has been a perfect way for me to recharge for the next day.
5. Celebrate the wins: I made a reference earlier to sharing burnout with someone who gets it. And while some people might think they don’t have someone like that in their life, I promise that you do. There are things related to my business that I’m not going to pick up the phone and talk about with my mom or siblings, because they don’t know this part of my world. But my tribe is vast and strong. Having people in your corner who you can reach out and celebrate things with is crucial—especially if you are a one-person shop. When you land that big client, call a colleague in the business:, I promise that we will help you celebrate!
6. Take care of you. My close friend, Mike Veny, is a mental health motivational speaker. In an era where the topic of self care is coming at us from so many angles, he really simplified things for me. He said, “Self care is what you do for your health when you aren’t in the presence of a medical professional.” All of the suggestions in this article can be looked at as a form of self care, but sometimes the most important thing to do is say no to someone else so you can say yes to yourself. Don’t feel guilty about that.
I asked a few members of my crew to share what they do to motivate themselves when they are running on empty. Check these out!
Nancy Giacolone: “One of my favorite tricks is to work out in the morning, as it increases my dopamine and endorphins, and I am automatically more energized and motivated. The other trick I use is to rearrange my day. What gives me energy? Do that thing first! Then I can carry that positivity and energy into other tasks or parts of my day.”
Eugene Starks: “ I always find I recharge when I spend time with family and friends. Another big way I avoid burnout is by working-out. Setting aside time to work on myself in this way puts me in the right frame of mind for the challenges I face weekly. Another rule I have is that I never drink alone to relieve stress. I find drinking alone never reduces stress. I enjoy drinking in fellowship with friends because the fellowship brings down my stress.”
Erin Issac: “The most powerful thing I do is remember what I’m working towards and what I want the future to be. That moment ahead of me can help me take one step closer, or it might just be part of the motivation for change. Either way, taking action is what’s going to eventually get me there. Take the suck and let it inspire you to do more. That’s one thing, but it’s usually coupled with a few others: take a break, move your body, don’t try to soothe with social media or sweets. The other thing I always have is a lifeline — that friend, mentor, cheerleader who can remind you who you are and what you’re doing this for.”
Lester Morales: “By having a strong external “why” and an internal look in the mirror, I force myself to be accountable. Knowing the purpose of what I am doing, whether it be an internal or external driving force, moves me forward. I get up every morning and think, ‘Today, I’m going to make my parents proud.’ When I think of doing anything that is hard during the day, that is my motivation. My parents instilled in me my strong internal drive. I promised myself long ago that the person I have to be most accountable to is myself. For example, if I tell myself that I’m going to get up and work out, the only person I am cheating is myself if I don’t do it. How are you accountable to other people if you don’t start with yourself? You can’t pour from an empty cup, so if you are taking care of you, your ability to take care of others magnifies.”
What do you do to motivate yourself when you’re running on empty?
Filed under: Colleen Blum, Combs & Company, Mental Health, Motivational, Try and Stop Me Podcast | Tags: Bryan Cush, Colleen Blum, Combs & Company, Mental Health, Mental Wellness, Try and Stop Me Podcast
Bryan Cush, Co-Founder of Tidal Health Group is on a mission to change the way consumers find providers.
Backed with a strong purpose and the courage to try, he and his team are tackling the large task at hand.
Listen along as Bryan shares a bit on his background, the company’s mission and some key valuable lessons he’s learned along the way so far.
You can Click Here to check out the podcast on Apple Podcasts!
Filed under: Colleen Blum, Combs & Company, Insurance Women, Marketing Yourself, Mental Health, Motivational, Tenacious Tuesday, Try and Stop Me Podcast | Tags: Colleen Blum, Combs & Company, Mental Health, Mental Wellness, Mike Veny, Self Employed Momentum, Tenacious Tuesday, Transforming Stigma, Try and Stop Me Podcast
Episode 6 Mental Health Is An Asset, So Let’s Talk About It
Host: Colleen Blum
Guest: Mike Veny
Mental Health is something society still struggles to talk about or address, the one good thing about COVID is that problem seems to be slowly changing.
Mike Veny is one of the Top Mental Health Speakers in the US talking about just that. Listen as he shares his story through his mental own health journey, how is mother helped him find an outlet and how he is using his mental health as an asset to help change lives all across the country.
Curious for a preview of the episode? Take a listen below!
To be able to listen or download the full episode, click below!
Guest Contact Information:
Mike Veny: LinkedIn
Website: https://www.mikeveny.com/
Author of: Transforming Stigma: How to Become a Mental Wellness Superhero
Podcast: MXV Self Employed Momentum
Follow us on the @tryandstopmepodcast Instagram page
Filed under: Combs & Company, Covid-19, Giving Back, HR, Mental Health, Reopen Strategy | Tags: Covid-19, Employers, Mental Health, Mental Wellness, Mike Veny, Reopen Strategy
As talks of reopening start happening and, as an employer, you begin to make a strategy for what this will look like, Mental Wellness should be in the forefront of your checklist.
Mike Veny, Mental health speaker, drummer and best-selling author shares a powerful checklist on how to support your employees during this time. This list includes:
1. Change the way you view everyone.
2. Understand there are different levels of anxiety.
3. Remember everyone has a unique home situation.
CLICK HERE to download the entire list and advice on how to implement!
_________________
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mike@mikeveny.com
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