Filed under: BenefitsPro, Broker Innovation Lab, Combs & Company, Combs & Company Blog, Giving Back, Happy Holidays, Insurance Women, Susan L Combs, Women in Insurance | Tags: Be Of Service, BenefitsPro, Broker Innovation Lab, Combs & Company, Loneliness, Nancy Giacolone, Susan L Combs
This month, 2023 BenefitsPRO Broker of the Year, Nancy Giacolone, shares her thoughts on coping with loneliness during the holiday season and beyond.
By Susan L Combs and Nancy Giacolone | November 21, 2023 at 08:21 AM
Original Article on BenefitsPro
This month’s edition of “The Syrup” has a special ingredient! It’s our current Broker of the Year and my dear friend, Nancy Giacolone. Nancy and I have been peer mentors to each other for a number of years and we recently had a conversation about loneliness. It’s a topic that we have seen come up with our own families, as our mothers are both widows. We have also witnessed it with colleagues and clients in our industry. Our discussion led to a guest authorship for this month’s article to tackle this topic and shine some light on some of the things we don’t always think about as the holidays roll around.
And with that, I’ll turn things over to Nancy.
The festive music, twinkling lights, and cheer that fill the air as the holiday season approaches are often thought of as universal markers of joy and togetherness.
Yet, for a growing number of people, this time of year may amplify feelings of isolation, highlighting the stark contrast between societal expectations of warmth and camaraderie and their own personal experiences of solitude.
The “loneliness epidemic,” as health professionals and social scientists have termed it, is an increasingly recognized public health concern that does not pause for the holidays. In fact, it often intensifies during this time of year.
A recent Gallup Poll found that loneliness is not confined to the elderly. They reported that nearly 25% of adults feel very lonely, and younger people feel significantly lonelier, with the loneliest group being between the ages of 19-20.
Loneliness has been linked to a myriad of health issues, both mental and physical. The risk of developing conditions such as heart disease, depression, anxiety, and a weakened immune system is higher among those who experience chronic loneliness.
Alarmingly, some studies have equated the health risks of prolonged loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Furthermore, loneliness can lead to a vicious cycle, where the lonelier one feels, the less they engage socially, exacerbating one’s isolation.
Gatherings, family traditions, and social festivities typically characterize the holidays. However, they can also serve as a magnifying glass for one’s social situation, illuminating the quality and quantity of our relationships.
For those who are estranged from family, have recently lost loved ones, or are far from home, the season can be a reminder of what — or who — is missing.
The proliferation of social media adds another layer, as idealized depictions of holiday happiness can deepen the sense of exclusion for those who feel their reality doesn’t measure up.
So, what can you do if you are experiencing feelings of loneliness this time of the year?
- Frequent “third places.” These places are not home or work, but locations where people gather socially. Think parks, coffee shops, libraries, churches, or sporting events. Meeting people in places where you share a common interest will help foster connections.
- Volunteer. Volunteering takes the focus off of yourself and puts it on others, which can foster a sense of purpose and community.
- Community events. Holiday concerts, festivals, or bazaars are great places to meet and connect with others. Not to mention, they usually have some good music and tasty treats!
- Visit someone you know may be lonely as well. Maybe you have an elderly neighbor who lives alone. Dropping by with a plate of cookies to check on them may be just the lifeline you are both looking for!
- Although technology is no substitute for in-person interaction, sometimes it can help bridge the gap! Does your family live across the country? Have a Zoom holiday party or create a new tradition where you decorate your trees together virtually.
The holiday season should be a time of joy and connection, but for those experiencing loneliness, it can be particularly challenging. By acknowledging this reality and taking proactive steps to address the loneliness epidemic, we can extend the spirit of the holidays to include compassion, inclusivity, and community. The gift of connection might be the most precious one we can offer in a season marked by giving.
Filed under: BenefitsPro, Branding You, Broker Innovation Lab, Combs & Company, Combs & Company Blog, Insurance Women, Motivational, Successful Women, Women in Insurance | Tags: BenefitsPro, Broker Innovation Lab, Business Owner, Colleen Blum, Combs & Company, Eric Silverman, Insurance Consulting, Susan L Combs, Working On Your Business
Original Article on BenefitsPro
By Susan L Combs | November 01, 2023 at 07:38 AM
Before we dive into our next topic, I want to just say “thank you”. I received countless emails, texts, direct messages and comments on the last edition, The Syrup – Mental Illness and Seeing the Unseen, from people who felt brave enough to share their own stories with me. It deeply touched me and as a contributor to this publication for over a decade, I can honestly say this is the most feedback I have ever received on an article. I’m glad it struck a chord with some and hope you felt a little more “seen” in this crazy thing called life.
Our next topic was brought up by the legendary Eric Silverman, who is also a frequent BenefitsPRO contributor, podcast host and enhanced benefits guru. He brought up the age-old topic of working on your business versus working in your business, something I think many entrepreneurs and business owners struggle with.
Before we tackle this, let’s first define and clarify so we are all on the same page. I think of working “in your business” as more about managing the immediate tasks and responsibilities necessary to keep the wheels on the bus, while working “on your business” involves strategic thinking and planning to ensure its long-term success and growth.
Some examples that might make it easier to think about would be:
- Working In Your Business: The hands-on stuff like selling or consulting on insurance, customer service, admin work and managing the day-to-day operations.
- Working On Your Business: The big picture work that looks more at the future, both near and far. Things like strategic planning, market research for opening a new office location, business development strategy, marketing, and long-term goal setting.
Some of the most successful people in our industry have found a way to balance these two approaches or to bring someone in to help. Because let’s face it, not all of us are good at doing both. If you are a person that is a bit of a dreamer and known to say things like “What would it look like if…”, then you are probably good with working on your business. But you also need to have people in your company that who keep the wheels on the bus while you have your head in the clouds, or you won’t have the revenue coming in to implement your dreams and reach your goals. These are the “In Your Business” people. Typically, your Type A’s that have to-do lists are the ones that are great on implementation and structure to hit your dreamer goals and can pull you back down to earth when you need a healthy dose of reality.
Honestly, I can be a bit of both when I’m in the right environment and surrounded by the right people. I love dreaming and I’m a taskmaster and a freaking machine when it comes to work, but I need the balance of others to run a successful company. When we brought in Sean O’Rourke as CFO over seven years ago, it became a gamechanger for the company. He has a much different approach, comes from outside the industry and was exactly what we needed to get us to the next level. Our revenue has grown steadily year after year since I opened the doors in 2005, but his strategic approach and high-level thinking put us in a financial position where we didn’t even blink when a national pandemic hit.Andhe has pushed my business Partner, Colleen Blum and myself to think about taking on new opportunities, to grow our consulting arm and to become one of the leading expert witness firms in the area we practice. All because we have an internal balance within the company.
One of my favorite things is when the three of us are brainstorming, because you get the logic, the passion and the money aspects looked at and it makes for a better way to set and accomplish goals, both short and long term.
I know many readers are sole props who are struggling with doing it all and figuring out how to take things to the next level. To be honest, you probably can’t do it alone. Eric and I talked about this recently and discussed how many business owners talk about not being about to afford bringing someone in. We both remembered when we made the decision. Eric said he had the same mindset 20 years ago, but “Once I finally made the leap of faith to hire someone to help, my business took off like a rocket. Making the decision was the hardest part. But once the decision was made, the ‘doing’ became effortless.”
As I close out this edition of The Syrup, I’d like you to think about when Eric made his leap. Very rarely does an entrepreneur have someone come up to them and hand them a few million dollars to start a company. Most of us started our businesses on sweat equity and the change from our couch cushions. And while moxie and grit can get you far in this industry, also remind yourself to be smart enough to know what you know, and to know what you don’t know. Check your ego and bring in people who aren’t just like you, but can help you soar; most successful business owners find a balance between working In and on their business, as both are crucial for the overall health and sustainability of a business. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all strive for?
Filed under: Affordable Care Act, BenefitsPro, Broker Innovation Lab, Combs & Company, Combs & Company Blog, Health Insurance, Insurance Women, Mental Health, Pancakes for Roger, Susan L Combs, Women in Insurance, Women's Health | Tags: Addiction, Breaking Point, Broker Innovation Lab, Combs & Company, Family, Mental Health, Susan L Combs
By Susan L Combs | October 04, 2023 at 07:19 AM
Original Article on BenefitsPro
I’ve struggled with even starting this article, but this topic has been weighing on my mind for well over a year. In our industry, we talk so much about mental health and wellness, which is great. And as those of us in the industry know, under the Affordable Care Act (ACA), we now have Mental Health Parity. And in some places like New York, even before the ACA we had things like Timothy’s Law that gave New Yorkers access to unlimited mental health sessions in network years prior. This is all incredible.
But you know what we haven’t talked about?
The family of the mentally ill or person struggling with addiction. The people who are showing up as caregivers time and time again only to have their hearts broken for the umpteenth time.
I know I live a pretty open life and many of you reading this probably know that I have been sober for over two decades. I’ve chosen a path for myself that has led me to have an incredible life, and I am grateful that I learned at an early age what a degree from the School of Hard Knocks had to offer by making some pretty big mistakes for myself prior to the age of 23. But I know I put my family through a lot and I own it. I have gone on to make my amends and mend the fences that were damaged but not broken. I have worked hard to try and make the right choice each day for myself and others. Of course, this doesn’t mean I’m perfect or that I don’t blunder and step in it from time to time.
I’m not a big one for having regrets, because I truly feel that you are denying yourself your place in the world right now when you say you have them. I choose to not regret the things I have done because I know that they shaped me as the person I am today and as a result, I have been able to help others. But I broke my parents’ hearts. I made the General cry…
Until recently, I don’t think I realized what it was like being in my parents’ shoes. Dealing with someone who is being irrational when you are trying to be logical can be the definition of frustrating. But about a year and a half ago, I got a major life lesson that I didn’t want and certainly didn’t need. This all comes back to a promise I made to my dad before he passed. My dad and I were “Team Type A” in our family, and I knew that when he was dying, he needed to take comfort in knowing that everything would be OK within our family unit. I promised my dad that “I got this” and that I’d look after my mom and my brothers. The year before my dad passed, “Team Type A” got together and we spreadsheeted, we had all the information organized, I knew who to call if a pipe burst in our little apartment building, I knew who to call to sell the Winnebago, I knew who to talk to about VA benefits that passed to my mom, I had all the passwords, we had everything mapped out. But we didn’t talk about my oldest brother, who has dealt with severe mental illness for well over three decades. We just missed it.
Eighteen months ago, I had my ass handed to me. I had never dealt with a mentally ill person who had gone off their meds. It’s uncomfortable; it’s hard. Everything logical doesn’t work. It reminded me about being around someone who is highly intoxicated, which as a sober person, feels unsafe. It was triggering. He ended up getting arrested and then things really got tough. I’m in NYC, he’s in Kansas; there is so much I can do from here….but I promised my dad. This was a dance I had to make up as I went along. A legal eviction led us to have to purchase a home for him to live in, because no rentals would take him with a felony record, a legal eviction, and other charges. I lost a lot of sleep, but ultimately, I felt that I “fixed” the problem, because I am nothing if not tenacious and can basically figure out any problem you give me. But you can’t fix mental illness. You can’t throw money at it and hope it goes away. You can’t pray it away. You can’t act like it doesn’t exist. Because guess what? When you think things are fine, when you start sleeping soundly and things feel back to normal, it breaks again. And it did. It broke again a few months ago, which led to an involuntary commitment into a state hospital. I don’t think it’s necessary to give you a play by play of what happened, but when death threats are happening and you are being told by your brother that he, “Just got off the phone with Dad” (our father passed away in 2018) it’s rough. It makes you want to run away from the situation and never look back.
But I promised.But what did I promise? Did I promise I would put my own health on the line at the sacrifice of someone else? No. Did I promise I would be a horrible boss and a shit wife because I didn’t have the capacity to show up in the world for the people who depend on me? No. Did I promise to put so much stress on myself that I would have chronic diarrhea for 6 weeks straight because I carry my stress in my stomach? No. Would my father want me to work so hard at fixing an unfixable problem for someone who doesn’t put the work in for themselves? Absolutely not. But I did and I have.
When is it time to walk away?
When is it time to put your own mental health and wellbeing first?
I honestly can’t answer those questions for you, because I’m still figuring that out for myself. But I can tell you what I have done. I have shared about it in my 12-step program, I have shared about it with my therapist, and I’ve shared about it with my tight crew. But you know where I’ve gotten the most support? Just like there is a “Dead Dad’s Club” that you never know about until you are indoctrinated into it, there is the “Mental Illness Family Club” and those are the people who have really helped during this time. Those who have it in their families know how hard it can be. How thankless it can be. How “I’ll never get an apology” it can be. How unaccountable it can be. How abusive it can be. To my Superman fans, it’s what I picture Bizarro World to be. And it sucks.
This article isn’t meant to be a “poor me” piece; like I said before, I have a big beautiful life and I was given so many tools and lessons in my life that have prepared me for this … kinda. This article is meant to see the unseen. For those of you who are in this boat, please know that you aren’t alone. I encourage you to share your stories and find support where you can get it. It’s up to you what that looks like.
Don’t ever apologize for putting your wellbeing first when someone is making you the price of admission.
Be brave.
Filed under: BenefitsPro, Combs & Company, Feature Friday, Innovation Broker Lab, Insurance Women, Motivational, Successful Women, What's the Good News, Ladies?, Women in Insurance | Tags: Benekiva, Bobbie Shrivastav, Broker Innovation Lab, Combs & Company, Deidre Wright, Feature Friday, Strategic Stories, What's the Good News, Ladies?
Original Post: BenefitsPro Broker Innovation Lab
By Susan L Combs | August 14, 2020 at 06:58 AM
Guess what’s next week?! It’s BenefitsPRO Broker Expo time! This is one of my favorite conferences every year and this year we are doing the Fast & Furious Session from the main stage! So if you haven’t already registered, make sure you handle that ASAP! Since it is virtual this year, if you are a broker or agent, you can get in on the fun for no charge and learn what the rest of us already know about this great show!
In July, we kicked off our Wonder Woman Mastermind group, which was the brainchild of this series. We had a wonderful first meeting, where we shared some excellent marketing ideas with each other. If you are looking to be inspired by more women in our industry, please meet Bobbie and Deidre. Both women are breaking down barriers for women in our industry with personal impact and mentorship.
“The past 12 months have been focused on growth, speaking and mentoring! Due to all of our recent exposure and hard work, Benekiva was invited to participate in Mass Challenge FinTech Accelerator. We were selected out of over 300 applications globally and are proud of this recognition! Our impact in the industry has also increased as we’ve grown the number of carriers we work with from three to nine over the past 12 months. Personally, I was invited to speak at over 25 events in the last year, on topics such as InsurTech, innovation, customer experience, digital transformation, Blockchain, startups, women in tech, and diversity and inclusion. I’ve meet so many dynamic people along the way. Lastly, we have been able to mentor many startups and logged over 250 hours to help the startup community nationally.”
Deidre Wright, Strategic Stories
“I constantly think about the legacy I want to leave. My goal is to diversify the C-Suite and change the image of what a leader “looks like.” While companies promote diversity and inclusion, data shows the existence of pay disparities and glass ceilings amongst employees. Last December, I took the leap to become a full-time entrepreneur, providing personal brand coaching to ambitious but undervalued diverse talent. Nothing could have prepared me for what was to come. The biggest surprise has been, that in the midst of a global pandemic, unstable economy, and racial unrest, my clients are winning. For example, Uche, a first-generation African American woman, just landed a new job making 20% more pay and with the dream title we planned together. Why am I celebrating this as a personal win? It debunks the myth that top-notch diverse talent doesn’t exist. So. I encourage us all to mentor, hire and promote diverse talent.”
Know a great rockstar woman in our industry who’s doing amazing things? If so, I’d love to connect! You can just shoot me over an email with their information or feel free to make a virtual introduction to me at scombs@combsandco.com. Stay safe and mask up my friends. Hope to see you August 18th-20th at the BenefitsPRO BrokerExpo!
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