It’s 4th Quarter, which means it’s also open enrollment. We are all tired, overworked and keep saying over and over to ourselves, “Just get through it.” But then…as my friend, Allison Cohen De Paoli put it so perfectly, you get “assaulted” by yet another vendor trying to sell you during the absolute busiest time of year, and you just can’t take it anymore.
After sharing some texts with my crew (Erika, Chelsea, Colleen & Nancy), it got me thinking that we can’t be the only ones. This prompted me to send an email to my list of about 300 women who have been featured in the “What’s the Good News, Ladies?” series over the years and see if others had stories to share.
Boy, did they! In less than 48 hours, over 50 women responded back with annoying, rude and downright appalling examples of how salespeople have approached them during this time of year.
So maybe this is a little bit of a public service announcement; maybe it’s a little eff you; or maybe it’s a little “how to sell to a woman 101.” Because people, you are missing it, and you are missing it big! You know why? I’m dropping some knowledge on you right here in case you didn’t know: According to American Express and the SBA, over 42% of businesses in the U.S. are owned by women and women make up over 51% of the U.S. population! And according to Forbes, 85% of women control or influence consumer spending. That means there are over 330 MILLION women who will sing your praises if you get it right, but they will run the bus right over you, hit reverse and do it again if you get it wrong. We will screenshot your email, text, LinkedIn DM or forward the voicemail to each other and we will remember to avoid you and your company’s services at all costs, because what’s the rule you should never forget?
Hell, hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Buckle up and take note, because you are getting a golden list that is the compilation of many uber successful women in our industry, including award winners, top producers, business owners and badasses. If you are in sales, print this out and put it where you can see it and then never do these things.
The Gift Givers: Not the ones who are sending you a thank you for the business; we mean the ones who are trying to bribe you for a meeting. Gift cards and even shoes were offered to some of these women. What’s wrong with this? It can be looked at as rebating in some states and if you are a vendor with a license, you can lose it. And just as importantly, you make us feel gross.
Bate and Switch – Recruiting: More than one woman emailed and said she had recruiters pose as a potential client. The meeting is booked, but once on the call, they realized it was a recruiter trying to hire them away. Do you really think someone worth their salt is going to come work for you when you have basically lied your way into a meeting and showed your ethical character?
Bate and Switch – “I’m Interested in Your Services”: I’ve heard a few people bring this one up: Someone reaches out to you via email or social media, saying they’re interested in your services, so you set up a meeting. But once you get on the meeting, they have a full PowerPoint presentation on selling THEIR services. So not only did the vendor waste the person’s time as they prepared for what they thought was their own prospect meeting, they completely disrespected them by pushing the vendor’s agenda over theirs.
Beauty and the Beast: I know you have all gotten this one, if you take a second to think about it. A breath of fresh air enters your inbox: finally, a well thought out email or message from someone that has done their homework! You accept the connection, but five seconds later, you get a spam sales pitch message and a link to set up a meeting. I had this happen recently and ignored it two times. By the third one, I was a little less than nice and said, “Dude, read the room. It’s open enrollment and if you really work with brokers, you’d know asking for a meeting right now is the kiss of death.” His response was basically that OE ends in 2 weeks (is he out of his mind?) and he wants to be one of the first people I reach out to. My response? I deleted the connection, took a screenshot and sent it to my friends, who won’t ever meet with him. Bravo.
Badmouthing: You know how your gramma always told you, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? If the only way you feel that you can get business is by throwing others under the bus, are you really that good of a salesperson? One guy basically told one of woman that she was dumb because of the software she was using!
Spam: “Hi…your profile looks interesting…” Raise your hand if you get 10 of these a week. Do you really feel like this is a differentiator? If someone makes me laugh, I always accept, even if I have never met them. But if it’s the same canned outreach, I delete it. And most others do, too!
Not Knowing Your Audience: Man, this one came up a lot. Salespeople basically throwing spaghetti to the wall and hoping it sticks, but missing the mark because they didn’t take any time to really look at who you are as a professional. The sad thing with this one is, that they probably could have gotten a meeting if they did a little homework.
Lying: I have to give a big shout out to the sales training I got from Paychex (I know my girl Rachel McLauchlin will echo this) as I really feel like it was some of the best. Two things I always remember: 1. If you sell on price, you’ll lose on price. 2. Never lie. One example I got of this was someone basically swiping a mutual connections LinkedIn list and pretending that the mutual connection recommended that they connect. When she called the mutual connection to see what was up, she discovered the deception and said, “I will not do business with him now.” So, this guy not only burned one bridge, he burned two, along with all the other people they will tell! (Gas up the bus, girls!)
Did you Get My Email?: This one came up like 10 times. It can also be worded as “Let me bump this up to the top.” Most don’t get the hint that you didn’t respond for a reason and so keep on sending. Or they get a read receipt when you open the email, so then they have someone else who is supposed to be higher up in the firm reach out to you and say they know “you’ve been talking with their colleague.” So many of these do not have an “unsubscribe” feature, so you just end up blocking them.
The Unapproved Meeting Request: Nothing grates on me more, and this was brought up by over half of the women who responded. If you are doing this, stop. Just stop. I don’t know who taught you this, but it’s wrong. It’s intrusive. It conveys that you think their time and schedule should be controlled by you. It’s dishonest. Think of the other person. Would you be thrilled if someone you had never met walked into your house, sat down at your dinner table and said, “Oh, is now a bad time?” I generally have a “three strikes and you’re out” rule, but this one is an immediate banishment in my book. I will never take a meeting from them and everyone I have talked to has similar feelings. Especially this time of year, we are all tired and overworked. When a funny meeting appears on our schedule that we don’t know anything about and we respond to the sender to get a little more information and find out it’s a sales pitch,, queue explosion. Hell, hath no fury….
If you couldn’t tell, I had a lot of time writing this and I hope you had fun reading it. I know we are all running on empty right now, so hopefully this gave you a little reprieve from the stress we all have this time of year. Maybe you got a little insight into how to sell to a woman and realized you might be doing some of these things in one way or another. Or maybe you just nodded your head throughout because you felt a connection to others in our industry. My hope is that it gave you a few laughs, headshakes and maybe a face palm, too.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank those who helped with this article; the emails that came in were just so much fun to read! Hang in there, ladies, and if you need a bus driver, I got you!
We work in a people-facing business and don’t have the luxury of burying our heads in the sand. But this doesn’t mean that there aren’t times when we’d love to do just that.
I can’t tell you how many people I have encountered over the past few months who have talked about how burnt out they are. Let’s face it, we work in a people-facing business and don’t have the luxury of burying our heads in the sand. But this doesn’t mean that there aren’t times when we’d love to do just that. I know there are days when my business partner Colleen Blum and I look at each other and say “When are we buying that ice cream truck?” We laugh and get back to the grind, but that 30 second check-in with someone else who “gets it” is sometimes all you need.
But what if you don’t have someone to do that with? Or at least you don’t think you do.
“How do you motivate yourself when you just aren’t feeling it?” was a question asked by one of our readers.
I started thinking a lot about what I do to stay motivated and when I asked myself this question, the first thing that came to mind is: I reach out.
To be honest, this is not something that I’ve always done; during my first 5-10 years in business, I carried the load along. I internalized and just kept grinding. But after 18 years as a business owner, I’ve learned better.
You aren’t a snowflake; feeling unmotivated is a common challenge that many people face. However, with the right strategies, you can regain your motivation. Here are some things I do to keep marching when I’m running on empty:
1. Move a muscle, change a thought: I know this might sound a little dumb, but when you get stuck, sometimes you just need to move. If you follow me on social media, you know I’m into CrossFit and start most days by working out. This lays the groundwork for me to take on the day, but if I feel unmotivated during other times, I walk around the block, walk down the hall or go check mail. Sometimes, just a little movement is all you need to shift things and get back at it.
2. Gratitude and goals: I have a girlfriend who owns her own law firm and Monday through Friday, we send each other a list of things that we are grateful for, followed by a list of what we want to accomplish for the day. We have been doing this for over two years and it’s a great way to start the workday in a good frame of mind—with gratitude and a list of goals for the day. I take the “goals” list and drop them into my “to do” list in Outlook and then check them off as I accomplish them. Nothing motivates me more than checking things off a list! (#loser)
3. The power of anticipation: It’s so important to look forward to something, whether this be a gift to yourself, a vacation, a conference, a random day off or a freakin’ popsicle. Have something in the distance that you know is coming when you get to that date on the calendar, land that client or hit a revenue goal.
4. Do something that has nothing to do with your business: This is something I learned from my dad. He was a Major General in the Air Force and a civilian judge, so he was on the road a lot. But one of the first things he would do within 24 hours of getting home was to go out to our farm and be a farm boy. I have a very analytical brain; I like math and I love me some spreadsheets. But during open enrollment, when the work increases and I need to give my brain a break or use it in a different way, I always have a creative project to work on when I get home so I can put my phone away and just focus. One year, it was making, bottling and labeling vanilla extract; another time, it was making Christmas ornaments. Currently, it’s knitting temperature blankets for my nieces. We all deserve to shut down, and this has been a perfect way for me to recharge for the next day.
5. Celebrate the wins: I made a reference earlier to sharing burnout with someone who gets it. And while some people might think they don’t have someone like that in their life, I promise that you do. There are things related to my business that I’m not going to pick up the phone and talk about with my mom or siblings, because they don’t know this part of my world. But my tribe is vast and strong. Having people in your corner who you can reach out and celebrate things with is crucial—especially if you are a one-person shop. When you land that big client, call a colleague in the business:, I promise that we will help you celebrate!
6. Take care of you. My close friend, Mike Veny, is a mental health motivational speaker. In an era where the topic of self care is coming at us from so many angles, he really simplified things for me. He said, “Self care is what you do for your health when you aren’t in the presence of a medical professional.” All of the suggestions in this article can be looked at as a form of self care, but sometimes the most important thing to do is say no to someone else so you can say yes to yourself. Don’t feel guilty about that.
I asked a few members of my crew to share what they do to motivate themselves when they are running on empty. Check these out!
Nancy Giacolone: “One of my favorite tricks is to work out in the morning, as it increases my dopamine and endorphins, and I am automatically more energized and motivated. The other trick I use is to rearrange my day. What gives me energy? Do that thing first! Then I can carry that positivity and energy into other tasks or parts of my day.”
Eugene Starks: “ I always find I recharge when I spend time with family and friends. Another big way I avoid burnout is by working-out. Setting aside time to work on myself in this way puts me in the right frame of mind for the challenges I face weekly. Another rule I have is that I never drink alone to relieve stress. I find drinking alone never reduces stress. I enjoy drinking in fellowship with friends because the fellowship brings down my stress.”
Erin Issac: “The most powerful thing I do is remember what I’m working towards and what I want the future to be. That moment ahead of me can help me take one step closer, or it might just be part of the motivation for change. Either way, taking action is what’s going to eventually get me there. Take the suck and let it inspire you to do more. That’s one thing, but it’s usually coupled with a few others: take a break, move your body, don’t try to soothe with social media or sweets. The other thing I always have is a lifeline — that friend, mentor, cheerleader who can remind you who you are and what you’re doing this for.”
Lester Morales: “By having a strong external “why” and an internal look in the mirror, I force myself to be accountable. Knowing the purpose of what I am doing, whether it be an internal or external driving force, moves me forward. I get up every morning and think, ‘Today, I’m going to make my parents proud.’ When I think of doing anything that is hard during the day, that is my motivation. My parents instilled in me my strong internal drive. I promised myself long ago that the person I have to be most accountable to is myself. For example, if I tell myself that I’m going to get up and work out, the only person I am cheating is myself if I don’t do it. How are you accountable to other people if you don’t start with yourself? You can’t pour from an empty cup, so if you are taking care of you, your ability to take care of others magnifies.”
What do you do to motivate yourself when you’re running on empty?
For our third installment highlighting women who are changing our industry, I’m going to introduce three more three amazing ladies. These three are rock star recruiters from Guardian, MassMutual and Penn Mutual.
I met each of these women by being part of organizations like WIFS, NAIFA and GAMA. I’ve found that when you connect with women who are involved with industry organizations, they mean business and are always looking to develop themselves and the people around them.
Click Here to see what Samantha, Cheryl and Evelyn are up to this year!
I’ve enjoyed all the positive feedback on this new series, “What’s the good news, ladies? Women who are changing the industry.” It really has been fun! For our second installment, I wanted you to hear from four women who come to the industry from entirely different backgrounds.
Juli McNeely, who took over her father’s practice and helped bring it to the next level; Kristin Alfheim, an award-winning financial advisor who runs a successful practice in Green Bay; Meghan Wilke, who took her production experience to the home office level for Mutual of Omaha; and Julie Yunker, who is thriving under a big transition that happened earlier this year with MetLife.
Now sit back, relax and get ready to be inspired by some astounding and accomplished women as they share some of their high points from this year.
With so much negativity in the world these days, I often find myself actively searching for the “good stuff” and celebrating those who share this information with me. I recently caught up with my friend and colleague, Emily Viner, VP of Agency Growth & Development for Guardian, and we were discussing Guardian’s study on closing the gender gap in sales and how they are working hard to change the landscape for women in the industry.
According to Viner, “Our industry struggles to recruit women into sales roles, but the issue is much broader than us. The study provides a clearer picture of how to position a career in sales as a satisfying and successful venture for those who are interested in a new opportunity. We now have a roadmap showing how to best highlight career benefits to women and address concerns they may have. We need to start sharing that message with young women and girls as well as experienced women looking for their next career move.”
I get excited any time I hear of a company working on a new strategy to get more women into the industry. I often hear that women in our industry account for about 14 percent of the production positions, and the percentage is even smaller in management roles. But I feel like we’re on the brink of something big here. Over the next several months, you are going to be wowed over and over again with a new series called “What’s the good news, ladies?” I know I have some amazing rock star women in my life who are getting it done, so I reached out to some of them to share with you some of their high points from this year. Buckle up and Click Here to read all about them!
So I have the pleasure of writing for the Succession Initiative for LifeHealthPro and they come to me with questions from their readers and I get to respond to them! Here is the latest one:
First off, I basically equate that to a mother not teaching her son how to cook and do laundry because she knows he’ll find a wife to do it for him! Learning how to prospect is a life skill in sales. You have to get it down pat in order to be successful in this career. Being handed leads are the reward after you have proven yourself, you know?
OK … now to get off of my soapbox and offer a solution.
Network.
Network with everyone and anyone if you are starting out. Book lunches, coffees and drinks with other salespeople and business professionals in different fields. Get your elevator pitch down and be specific about who you want to be introduced to that are good lead sources for you (CPAs, attorneys, etc.) Be specific about your ideal client, too; if you say “business owners,” they are going to hear Charlie Brown’s parents talking and you’ll go nowhere. Click here to read more!
So you know I love to give advice by now, right? I recently spoke at Baruch College, a business school in NYC where I serve as a mentor. I didn’t go to school there — I mentor there because the students inspire me.
The theme for the night was: Dream Big, Do More.
How powerful!
I find we so often start thinking about how to improve ourselves or start off the New Year right, but oftentimes we forget to go back to the basics of what got us to where we are today. Dream big, do more. To learn more click here.
Talk about a cluster! If you are in Arizona, Colorado, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Nebraska, New York, Nevada, Oregon, Tennessee or (insert state that has probably been added in the past hour) I am feeling your pain over the co-op shutdown.
In New York, we were under the impression we had until 1/1 to secure coverage for our clients, only to get an email around 4pm on Friday, October 30th that Health Republic of New York was being shut down as of 11/30 by the state of New York. As if it wasn’t busy enough during open enrollment! To add insult to injury, guess who hasn’t been paid by the co-ops since September? How we all love to work for free! Click here to continue reading.
I have been traveling and speaking at many conferences this past year and often attend seminars on PPACA. The thing that perplexes me is how my colleagues who are spending thousands of dollars to attend these conferences are still bitching about it. Get over it people… If you are still going to church and lighting a candle that it is going to be repealed, in my opinion, you are wasting time that could be better spent educating yourself and helping your clients.
When I’m faced with a challenge the first thing I ask myself is: “What would it look like if…?” Click here to take a step back and do that.
So I recently spoke at the Mutual of Omaha National Sales Symposium in Omaha, Nebraska and one of their keynotes was Jason Dorsey. If you’ve never heard him speak, he’s high energy and a lot of fun. He’s basically the “magic decoder ring” when it comes to figuring out millennials.
I’ve always thought that I just missed this generation, but I was informed that Jason is almost exactly a year older than me … and I was annoyed to learn that at age 36, I’m part of this group. He also enlightened me with the knowledge that most Gen Yers feel like they are special and don’t belong in this group. Ho hum…
Click here for some of the key takeaways from his talk that really gave me some “aha” moments.
With so much negativity in the world these days, I often find myself actively searching for the “good stuff” and celebrating those who share this information with me. I recently caught up with my friend and colleague, Emily Viner, VP of Agency Growth & Development for Guardian, and we were discussing Guardian’s study on 
combsandco 